shishmish

Last loved lie

2007-09-11T23:55:00.001+01:00

You just fell from so up high
You died alive and breathing
Before your arrogant smile
Everything went crystal clear

We were nothing all this time
Just characters of a play
Happening at two places at once
Talking to scenarios and lights

Acquaintances struggling
In the mud of society codes
In the filth of bare intimacy
In the name of fake love

Originality replaced what could never happen
Trueness of feelings, unclothed moments
We had to mask everything with my lies
Shaped by your actions, your lies

In my last truthful lie
My very last lying truth
I suddenly realize you are nothing to me
Mere past struggling to keep up with the present

You lost; I’m obliterating you
Writing you off of my mind.
Your essence was never mine
Mine was never yours.

But mind this: I’m just erasing your lies
Your soiled company’ll stay as an itch
To remind me of the disease
Of loving for poetry or literature.

You lie to yourself thinking your arrogance serves an end
To me your discreditable haughtiness itself ended it.

I like gloomy endings because they’re not worth remembering it.
There’s only a lesson in them to take home with you:

I loved you lying because only lying I would believe it.
Despising and loathing you, I stopped believing.

For all the times I've never said it

2007-06-29T22:19:00.000+01:00

Fishes are crying tonight
I have deceived my inner light
Closing me on your self
And holding you on my self

The studies reality imposes
Reasons rationality closes
Are replaced by the smell of whiskey
Pressing these blues upon me

Sighing I'll never know what it is
In my throat the aching alcohol's kiss
Doesn't compare with the aching knot
Born of solitude's weak spot

The kitchen's dirty, the room's a mess
Some music advertises togetherness
You're not by my side, not tonight
I feel so down, it's not right

Eyes closing, conscience fading
The pleasure you give me shading
Your presence when you stay
Can't you pass my way, today?

The glass bears one drop of my substitute
My addictiveness can't ever commute
The liquid will end, and I'll sleep
Slip into bed, on the waiting feed

And I'll tell you, pretending slumber
I couldn't memorize a single number
My drug has been your memory
I think I love deeply

I'll tell you I love you tonight
Under the covers of our bed, tight
Shed some fears, share some blame
Knowing you'll softly say the same

Writing through the bottom of the glass
Knowing I didn't give all my best
Still the night's comfort wraps it all
As my head and heavy heart on your pillow fall.

air

2007-06-13T20:56:00.000+01:00

Zucchero filato

2007-06-13T20:35:00.000+01:00

Há nas nuvens movimentos,
ar que escreve nos seus pavimentos;
outro nosso real deixado ver, por momentos.
As cores que a luz delinea,
essas pinturas que o sol declina,
estranhos reflexos da mente, a minha,
transformam-se em personagens
que com os suspiros das aragens
no céu afastam-se, vivendo nas margens.
Vivem porque eu as vejo,
formas de um qualquer refreado desejo,
pedaços de ideais aos quais almejo,
origens que vivem de mim.
E é assim,
numa eternidade com fim,
que faço morrer a morte
sem nobre amparo ou suporte
entregue ao amargo sopro da sorte.
O que respira é o devaneio
inspirando o que tanto receio
e expirando a verdade que anseio.
Fim em mim?
Jamais. Porque senão,
sem a índole da criação,
sem a creatividade da minha mão,
não existiria assim
como sou,
o que sou,
porque o sou:
para docemente te imaginar a ti.

brailling you

2007-05-30T13:54:00.000+01:00

In the lampligh

2007-05-30T13:42:00.000+01:00

‘And I have known the arms already, known them all –
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
…
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous –
Almost, at times, the Fool.’

In The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
by T. S. Elliot

* * *

I will sing you from my hands
Sing you out of these bare hands
And copy the shape of your light
In the dark

I will lift your heavy eyelids
Find secrets through your eyelids
And draw the sound of your shape
In the room

It will be a soft marching night
With tedious languid drunken spasms of sentimentalism
That taste just like rum and fun

I will use you and your skin
Bury my fingers in your bare skin
And I’ll never tell you this
In the morning

Or maybe I will wake up and tell you everything
But you will not say a word ‘cause you’re tired
You’ll always be too coward and too tired
In the light

It will be a soft marching night
With tedious lethargic drunken hands of indecision
That taste just like sand and snow

I will try to catch some stars
Try to scratch the window stars
While you watch the morning
In the wall

It will be a soft marching night
With measured damaged drunken minutes of uncertainty
That taste just like fire and water

It will be a soft marching night
With new swaying drunken habits of secrecy
That taste just like me and you

Still I feel like I will do for tonight

In the lamplight

2007-05-17T13:34:00.000+01:00

Pelos caminhos insidiosos, Ris
da entrega que é Gostar,
de uma paixão actriz,
dos que param para pensar

nas horas insinuadas, Descobres
ruas Mortificadas e indolentes
deuses errados e dobres
velhos corpos de serpentes

mas é aí que se esconde a adulação,
quando sob o Teu olhar indiferente
me sinto cão

é aí que se defende a resignação,
quando sob os teus passos insolentes
me sinto chão

Born

2007-05-16T16:31:00.000+01:00

Obrigada, mais uma vez.

2007-05-16T16:27:00.000+01:00

Quero-te.
Luz e cortes, em linhas horizontais
Cobardia e medo, num sol dormente
Passos densos, caminho para ti
Querer é rasgar-me pelos atalhos
Vendes silêncio a espaços que compro sem pensar
Apago o que disse, refaço o que fiz, recupero o ar que me roubas
Porque eu quero querer

Querer é querer muito, quando se sabe o que se quer
Querer é possuir já sem sequer se ter
(Sei que me vou arrepender)
Querer é não querer
Querer é ferir o corpo, já quebrado.

Quero-te.
Luz e letargia, nas persianas dormentes
Solidão e medo, sob um sol vertical
Vozes quentes, caminho para ti
Querer é morrer aqui
Vendo-te os passos, guio-te sem pensar
Deixa-me dar-te outras palavras, recuperar o ar que me roubas
Só porque quero querer

Querer é dizer, mas tu não dizes o que queres
Querer é falar contigo, não dizer nada
(Sei que me vou arrepender)
Querer é querer mais, beijar-te outra vez
Querer é ferir os nossos corpos, já quebrados.

Eu estive aqui.

2007-05-15T17:55:00.000+01:00

Obrigada João.

Rasgão

2007-05-15T17:34:00.000+01:00

Eu estive aqui.
A passagem, a minha passagem por aqui, será breve,
Pressinto.
Mas Eu estive aqui.
E vivi.
E sinto,
E vi, vi, e vi outra vez.
E vivi, e ainda sinto.
Sinto-me porque penso.
Sinto-me porque escrevo.
E apetece-me gritar.
E apetece-me chorar,
E rasgar tudo.
Partir e rasgar tudo.
Partir e escrever em tudo,
Em tudo deixar-me pelos cantos.
Pelos cantos cantada.
E quando lerem o que nas paredes derramei, quando lerem,
Verão que não foi
Com cores que me pintei
Mas com Sangue.
Sou as falhas dos muros
Por onde passei
E me deixei,
Ou fui deixando.
Sou as falhas de tudo.
De tudo,
De tudo.
O Amor,
A Vida,
Esses souberam-me a pouco.

Cheira a morte recente.
Cheira a voz envenenada,
Voz de nada.
Voz que canta,
Nas cordas de uma inspiração acabada.
O Tempo
Sabe a ausência
De pensamentos,
De momentos,
Momentos que vivi.
Vivi.
Mas pelo menos estive aqui.

Abismar-se

2007-04-21T14:09:00.000+01:00

Engoli-te e comeste-me por dentro;
Amaste-me e engasgaste-te no centro
Daquele ácido que me corre nas veias
Plasmas tecidos em trapézios de teias.
Morreste-me quando te morri a ti;
Arranháste-nos quando a ti te mordi,
E nem por isso deixámos de nos entregar,
Nem por isso continuámos a abraçar
O nada da escuridão mútua,
O tudo da entrega perpétua.
Acontecemo-nos.
Abismámo-nos.
Nego-te.
Suicido-te.
Bebemos o erro até à inconsciência
Acreditámos na mentira da inocência.
Encontro-te na falha de uma noite triste,
Nossa e do mundo que nunca viste.
Mas não trocaria a amargura de então
Por nenhuma corda ou salvação.

Russian colours

2007-03-13T17:42:00.000Z

Nós

2007-01-30T12:50:00.000Z

É um chorar de mim desregrado por instinto
Da devoção doente que procuro e não arranho sequer
Dos pós de vazio, dos ventos de asfixia
Um querer olhar para trás cego de lucidez
Um roçar nauseante dos traços, das emoções ocas
É possuir nada por saber querer tudo
É dizer ilha por saber fingir o mundo
É cobardia encandeada a tactear os sentidos
Um despertar para a solidão que é ter-te
São memórias de nuncas e nadas, de fantasmas
São fins do que não é, princípios do que não foi
É um desfiar-me nos laços que não atam ninguém
São as palavras dos ausentes que não conheces
As estórias que mesmo assim queres contar

É um dizer de mim ensaiado por outros
Do vestido de agonia que trago e não possuo sequer
Das lamentações de ontem, das vontades de mais sol
Um saber caminhar para ti sem marcas de Norte
Um sentir lancinante dos passos, das luzes feridas
É estar de luto pelas cores que perdi
É estar cheia da tua ausência em mim
É fome transparente a pintar os corpos
Um acordar para a celebração que é superar-te
São revelações de rumores e sinfonias, de melodias
São passados que não sou, vidas que não fui
É um perder-me nos abismos que não esperam ninguém
São os gritos de me consumir e ser feita de nós
Os momentos que ainda assim quero desembaraçar

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves

2007-01-11T14:12:00.000Z

Ali Baba and the forty thieves
They had some cards up on their sleeves
Those naughty tricksy foxy foes
Though they had to stand on their toes

To reach the diamonds, it was their aims
And they could walk on floors of flames
But their cunning mothers were the trickiest
And they had to come on home really fast

Their song was ugly and childish as a dodo
Starting with "drink up me smarties yo ho"
They truly relied upon their remarkable brains
But while thinkin, one always said "oh, these thinkin' pains"

Forty were the thieves, with Mr. Baba forty one
Forty was the chosen number, and indeed a good one
The problem was they were too many
And they stumbled upon each other like some silly nanny

The gang liked to play, dance and sing
Among burglars and criminals, a common thing
And often on boring arabian nights
They thought "naah, for today enough of fights"

Hamud Bebe was the expert on knifes
Abdulah Dada the one with sixty wives
Bidel Hidi felt at peace sleeping on the floor
And Ebdibul Bubu simply liked the number four

There wasn't much to do, on this burning land
Except perhaps counting yellow grains of sand
It is said some old Adin Din knew the total of them all
But he died before he had time to write it on a wall

One of these days Ali Baba had a nightmare
One of those called a darn good scare
Something about bombs blood and tombs
He said "gotta do something to prevent our dooms"

He realized all the arabian minds were a mess
"Yeah, we're pretty loopy, I've gotta confess"
So in order to be remembered as something nice
He conjured a plan, with sugar and spice

"Ali Baba and the forty thieves", sounds swell
Guys and swords, it's ordinary but oh well
Anyway, a great legend will never be a shame
So a legend and a story they happily did became.

Instintos

2007-01-06T17:21:00.000Z

Miss the start

2007-01-06T17:15:00.000Z

[Knock, knock, and knock]
I'm coming! [Some steps] Who is it?
It's me. [A door opens] Hey. I just passed by to give you this.
You're such a terrible liar. I know why you're here.
No you dont.
Yes I do.
No you dont.
Yes I do.
No you dont.
Will you stop it? [He stops] Give me that.
I erm - I broke a string.
Don't worry, it's ok. Im sure there are still too many las and fas left. Let's see...
[la la fa and so on]
Yeah, that's cute. But we need some lyrics.
You start.
No, you start.
You start.
I said -
Ok, ok, fine. [He starts]

I-I just came by 'cause I know you'll be gone for a while
I know I always show up when you'll be gone for a long time
I guess I'll have to admit there were some feelings we blend
When you said you wanted to pack the sorrows of our homeland
Here we are now, trying to avoid the sound of goodbye
Actually, we can't hear a thing at all except this long, silent cry
[Sound of angry neighbour: Shut up! and some bangs with a broom. The boy gets along, anyway.]

Here's the deal
You'll miss the plane
Before it really leaves
(Be sure to forget your baggage as well)
It'll fly away, away
Like life's just a ride in the skies

Here's the deal
You'll miss the start
Before it really begins
(You'll remember not to cross that line as well)
You'll drive away, away
Like loves just an easy traffic sign

Here's the deal
Well miss this kiss
Before it really happens
(Well remember not to think about it as well)
We'll let it get away, away
Like this is just a waste of time

You didn't need to get so lame. I just asked for some kind of truth.

Fresh Sunshine

2007-01-06T17:09:00.000Z

I should be singing some goodnight melodies
To these insolent thoughts of mine
I should shout like mamma did
Quiet down and leave, if you please
But they're screaming around
Like little monsters, aloud
And I certainly am losing my patience
Fresh sunshine
Come, bury the fake light of the night
Fresh sunshine
Wash this morning's big crime
I get some warm greetings from the window
Try to lie down for a moment
Still, they sabotage my slumber
Pointing a gun at my reveries
Those little thieves
Here they come again
And I certainly am leaving this train
Fresh sunshine
Come, throw some light over here
Fresh sunshine
Make all this bright and clear

Reflections

2006-12-23T00:12:00.000Z

On those loose bricks of old places
Strange shadows of watery faces

Under a sky made of waves
A world for recognition craves

When you write reflections on drawings
And I rain words on paintings

Something tells us it's never enough
On whispered songs, their voices rough,

Splashed phrases "please come near"
The sea calls you, can you hear?

Orange buildings drown on waters
Their human clay melts and sputters

Afraid to dive, afraid to try,
Afraid to plunge, but not to die

What if we don't want to come back?
What if we want to embrace the black?

We listen, never too drunk to do it
We listen, never too sober to forget it

Let's surrender our bones to fate
Fall through a quicksilver ground

Why do we stand here and wait
Let's soar through waters of sound

Let's drink on glasses thrown from bridges
Under broken umbrellas full of stitches

And looking up, seeing the city,
Looking up the lights of pity,

We'll find ourselves on our reflection,
Reaching the sky we'll find connection.

Perché non vediamo mai Venezia sotto l'acqua, resta qui la promessa di tuffarci nel gran canale insieme e vedere i tuoi disegni attraverso un filtro oceanico. Sai cos'è l'ispirazione? È inventare qualcosa che non esiste o non è mai accaduta, ma che è stata basata in un fatto reale - grazie per la tua forma di guardare il mondo intorno a noi.
Pour Arnaud.

Post-Scriptum

2006-12-19T21:20:00.000Z

The earth is opening a crack
Right between us, quite grim
But wait, gravity's mouth,
I've forgotten myself in him

Some words were left unsaid
Floating over rooms and halls
I'll try to shout them from here
While the ground beneath us falls

My eyes saw for you to see
My ears sang for you to hear
My blood wrote for you to be
Though closer was never near

Bitter alcohol of my lucidity
I leave your indiference to dry
This is the end of my ink
I'll drink it, I'll let it die

From far away, your hand reaches out
How can this be eternal at the end?
As the earth parts so shall we
But you're not eternal, you are eternity

For that I'll never have you
Who else could be you?
Who else could be loved with hatred?
Who else could never love too?

The unsaid end will never change
You who captured my heart
Gnawed my soul and torn me apart
For you I write, until eternity ends.

Monstros de nós

2006-11-07T20:32:00.000Z

Como se abraça algo que escapa?
Como sorrir enquanto nos rasgam as máscaras?
Como se abraça e sorri a qualquer outra pessoa.
Somos forçados a sentirmo-nos forçados
Embaraçados, culpados, estragados,
Por sabermos que o outro não é um alguém
Mas o todo, o alguém-eu perdido nas sensações
Relembrado a cada cruzar de olhos.
Ar húmido e denso, ofegante
Sufoco em ti, sufoco de ti
Perseguidos por luzes, ofuscados por abismos
Contrastes nítidos que ondulam em nós.
O medo move almas,
O medo aprisiona corações
Monstros dançam na massa negra da noite
Escondem-se atrás de pedras e musgos
Saltam por detrás de troncos e curvas
Fogem da luz, movimentam-se em si mesmos
Prometem arranhar-nos do seu mundo negro,
Porque o nosso é vermelho
Vermelho de sangue, vermelho escarlate
O que nos corre nas veias.
O medo fascina irracionalidades
O medo atrai vazios
E atrás deles corremos porque nunca basta
O corpo reage ao terror que nos envolve
Envolvendo-nos mais nele.
Gritas poemas escritos nas pálpebras dos olhos
Recito frases surdas nunca antes feitas
Que a escuridão nos engula na sua voraz fome
Música que nos pinta a vida e a morte.
Afastamo-nos no escuro, esquecemo-nos de nós.
A tua mão traz-me de volta
Calor que aquece o frio nas nossas bocas
Que queima o olhar gélido da indiferença.
Como senti a tua falta.
O negro de terrores ressurge atrás de nós
A luz desaparece, funde-se, engole-se a si mesma
E regorgita a sua monótona essência
Escuridão de vazio tão preto que assemelha o branco
Deixemos os monstros dançar, voltemos à nossa dança.
Braços de húmido nevoeiro beijando-nos a vida
Sugando-nos a vontade de combatermos.
Vem nevoeiro, leva-nos para onde não existem adeus
Onde tenhamos que contemplar a imperfeição do outro
Numa eterna perfeição.
Isola-nos, e mata-nos uma e outra vez.
Mas tal como o medo nos atrai, o fim repele-nos.
Debruçados sobre a espessa superficie do terror
Vislumbramos os calmos olhos da morte
Queremos escorregar pelas lamacentas margens da entrega
Mas torna-se demais, proibido, cedo demais,
Sacode-nos, devolve-nos, eleva-nos,
Nunca caímos na fatal presença do nada.
E entregamo-nos um ao outro num abismo tão fundo
De onde parece nunca podermos regressar
Não nos impedindo de continuar.
O fim é arrebatador porque tudo o que vive o atinge.
Porque tudo o que anseia por mais está destinado a morrer.
Chegámos ao nosso.
Componho a música da nossa monstruosidade
Nas velhas teclas do piano que choram comigo.

You used to be right there

2006-11-07T20:28:00.000Z

The day I bought a heart II

2006-09-29T20:07:00.000+01:00

I should have left you
In that shop I bought you
Oh, I should have picked another one
I want my money back
But no-one cares
I wasn't just myopic when I saw you
I was blind

Cause you were the last of your kind
Right there, in that very ugly corner
Full of dust
A sort of thing nobody wants to buy
The strangest, coldest heart of hearts

'Can I at least have a discount?'
'Madam, we can't do that, I'm sorry'
And there I was
Taking money out of my purse
A typical marketing victim
And there you were
In a very cute little gift bag

Cause you were the last of your kind
Right there, in that very ugly corner
Full of dust
A sort of thing nobody wants to buy
The strangest, coldest heart of hearts

Tricky paths is what I like the most
Risky stuff? I push myself to the utmost
'Challenging', I though
While I was holding you
You foolish thing that I bought
But there I was
In love with you
In my hands there was this poor
Little feeble heart
There you were
A little murky heart
That I so stupidly though I could mend

Cause you were the last of your kind
Right there, in that very ugly corner
Full of dust
A sort of thing nobody wants to buy
The strangest, coldest heart of hearts

'Can I buy just a slice?'
'No madam, we can't keep the rest on ice'
Yeah, these things you have to have it all
It's all or nothing at all
Hearts? You can't keep them
It's fire they want, it's what they become
So it's ashes I find
In that hearts' spine
A heart has no love
And love has no heart

Fast-falling

2006-09-29T19:56:00.000+01:00

Mirror of me

2006-09-28T18:50:00.000+01:00

Mirror mirror on the wall
Reflexions of what I am not
Reply to my musings
Glittering
Mirror mirror oh so small
I fell in love with you
Give me back to me
I need a line of myselves to see me

Why can't I see me in you?
Why do you have a face?
You make me fell useless
Can you tell me why?

Mirror mirror on my stall
Eyes of souls no one can see
Answer to my doubts
Sparkling
My mirror, see me crawl
My world is shallow
Please reflect me up
I need a line of yourselves to see me

Why can't I shine like you?
And oh Why do you shine?
You kill me deadless
Can you know why?

I don't want a line
I need eternity
I need space
I need darkness
I need my grace

I beckon you, don't destroy me
My reflexion is a lie you invented
Your mental images inflicted on me
I beckon you, come near
I'll shatter you into pieces
Free you from your external self
Break you
Murder you
Ignore you
Love you
Kill you
[BANG]

[piano]
Mirror mirror on the floor
Broken pieces of broken worlds
Still glittering
Mirror mirror on my core
You'll always shine in me
Forever sparkling
When will it end?

Cobwebs sang melodies the wind waltzed

2006-09-23T21:18:00.000+01:00

A ball in Vienna

2006-09-23T21:10:00.000+01:00

One-two-three
One-two-three
It all gets real when the music's on
Until the stars stop shining
It gets real enough while they dance this waltz
Until the sun screams yellow
They find dancing very agreeable
And talk secretly about their passions
I find dancing very agreeable
But we stand quietly towards our passion
A courteous little bow
They've been performing smiles for this
Eyes meeting eyes
Nothing more
A courteous little bow
I've been sleeping smiles for you
Eyes meeting souls
Nothing more
One-two-three
One-two-three
Their bodies travelling around the room
So nicely
Our bodies mourning across the room
So sadly
They look as if they know everything
And keep going backwards and forwards
Tap-dancing on a floor with my name
We look as if we no nothing
But keep going backwards and forwards
Tap-dancing on the floor of our hearts
Round and round, round again
They part, they join
Only leaving next to status
Round and round and round again
We try to part, I try to join
Only living next to you
One-two-three
One-two-three
Evident signs at the end of the ball
The endeavour to leave
Eyes meeting eyes
Nothing more
Secret signs at our distant ball
The tears of your cruelty
Eyes meeting souls
Hearts and more
Almost mystic
Scarcely tragic
Their past hidden in the rythms of the present
Almost tragic
Scarcely mystic
Our future hidden in the rythms of the past
We could dance one last time
Let us dance one last time
One-two-three
One-two-three

Salvation is in the eye of the beholder

2006-09-23T19:24:00.000+01:00

Yellow Raven

2006-09-23T19:21:00.000+01:00

You crossed a line over your chest
a line broken and twisted in its nest

Like water over it I'm tapdancing
just like water does when it's raining

I'm aiming for your eyes so grey
I promised I'd save them if you stayed

They stole them when you were asleep
Those yellow ravens of deceit

Unsinging mermaids of the sands
Squawking knots of tangled hair strands

Beautiful yellow raven, lock him free
He's just a child with a scrapped knee

He needs a world of logic, ceilings and walls
a world where a man happilly crawls

Here fishes dance chained to pines
Laughing seals fly over deep purple skies

These crying kites from death you spared
He just wants to go home, he's scared

Following the line you drew so carefully
I'll clean the air for you so neatly

Go away, you sad creatures of non-sense
To be yourselves forever is my sentence

I'll chase all your nightmares away
Like butterflies in a net they'll stay

Now your eyes are my secret hiding place
I'm sweeping the line, we'll leave no trace.

And one two, dancing shoe!

2006-09-23T19:18:00.000+01:00

I Love It When

2006-09-11T19:49:00.000+01:00

Baby, please sing to me
Sing, sing aloud
Baby, tell me you love me
And love me a lot
Tell me you cannot live without me
Say it like it's never enough
Invite me inside when it's raining
And then picture us married
I love it when you look that serious

Baby, argue with me
Argue with me aloud
Baby, please trouble me
Trouble me a lot
Just scream your lungs out
Say you had enough
Leave me outside the door when it's raining
And then steal my umbrella
I love it when you act that mean

Baby, please warn me
Warn me about me aloud
Baby, criticise me
Criticise me a lot
Tell me how unreasonable I am
Say you cannot agree with me
That the sun is brighter when it's raining
Hear my silent compliment of rational opposition
I love it when you say 'I told you so'

Baby, you look desperate to me
Too desperate and too loud
Baby, please look a little bit more tired
Like I tire you a lot
Just heave a sigh
Say 'What can I do?'
Tell me you hate when it's raining
Burst in tears, let me hear you crying
I love it when you look as you might give up

Baby, please irritate me
Do something loud
Baby, think about it
Think a lot
And then tell me about your fears
Say it all, say nothing at all
Anyway, I can't hear you when it's raining
Then turn your back on me
I love it when you slam the door and say it's over

Baby, cry for me
Cry out loud
Baby, please regret me
Regret me a lot
Tell me you never want to see me again
Say you'll miss me
Leave me outside the door when it's raining
Give my umbrella back
I love it when it's definitely over

Chaos breeds life

2006-09-07T22:54:00.000+01:00

One of those days

2006-09-07T22:39:00.000+01:00

When I woke up this morning
a shiny sunny sleepy friday morning
one of those simple fridays
I realized I didn't have hands
Oh what now?
What will the piano do now?
What will my pencils do now?
How will I wave hello now?
It was a bad friday...

When I woke up this afternoon
a villain voo-doo vanishing saturday afternoon
one of those plain saturdays
I realized I didn't have windows
Oh what now?
What will my cats do now?
What will my curtains do now?
How will the world be seen now?
It was a sad saturday...

When I woke up this night
a moody moaning misty sunday night
one of those boring sundays
I realize I didn't have a house
Oh what now?
What will my chairs do now?
What will my teas do now?
How will I open doors now?
It was a mad sunday...

When I woke up this dawn
a gloomy groovy glowing monday dawn
one of those forgotten mondays
I realize I didn't have myself
Oh what now?
What will my brain do now?
What will my friends do now?
How will I exist as me now?
It was a sad and bad and mad monday...

It was one of those days
It was one of strange those days
Oh well, it happens...

Until the stars stop shining

2006-08-22T22:47:00.000+01:00

Ana's song

2006-08-18T01:53:00.000+01:00

I'm thinking about this oh-so very special girl
That I fortunately met some years ago
Her presence enlightens your darkest, gloomiest days
And no pale soul can reject the colour that she brings
That's why I miss her so

I want to write her a song
So she can be with me whenever I carol it
Will I find the right words?
She deserves the very best of me, you see
I shall follow perfection to succeed

Find the rimes in her words and you got a ballad
See her smile and feel inspired
Resuscitate Jeff Buckley from his grave
Tell him he won't rest in peace
Until he dedicates her his last chant

She really knows where grace is hidden
Finding is not stealing
Say to those half-dead beings
There's hope
'Cause she'll give them the kiss of life

Vain, empty words
They're unable to describe her
But I've done my best
And they've done their best
Guess you can call it Ana's song

I'll rain myself as flowers tonight

2006-08-07T21:18:00.000+01:00

The Fallen

2006-08-07T21:08:00.000+01:00

Your ghosts and aparitions
I beckon them all
Come forward, backwards, small
Goodbye stopped my heart today
Destroyed fantasies in a day
Killed what-ifs of may
And I despise any tear
Oh I laugh at my fear
Even throw my body near
Near clifs near glasses
Far from any crying
Near, near, near dying

And so I die
Find me dead
Dead in your bed
Motionlessly spread

Feel the smell of death
You won't see me no more
See the vanishing breath
You won't touch me no more

Have one second of terror
For the eternities I waited
Say one sentence of despair
For all the words I wasted

Nothing was ever enough
Time's too rough
Time's too tough
Die, you too shall
Guilty, alone and small
With my ghost looming over
Our corpses will be
What they weren't in life
Meant to be
Words left unsaid
Black in gushes of air
Hang about the fallen

Save me
Save us
Save our ghosts

The day I bought a heart

2006-08-05T05:30:00.000+01:00

Forget him

2006-08-04T03:00:00.000+01:00

Well, it's a lonely afternoon
I sit and wait for a sign
In vain
It's hard to face the truth

Why do I always need it?
I cry inside but it's beautiful
Burning for someone

Call it a paradox
Call me a paradox
I am what you want
I could have been...
If only things were different
If only you were different
So I'll forget you
I'll just forget you

It's a sad afternoon
Can you hear the sound?
Bitter, lame songs
Legacies of a dead singer
I feel dead too
Here where I linger

Can you live without your life?
Can you live without your soul?
If only things were different
If only you were different
So I'll forget you
I'll just forget you

It's oh-so hard to face the truth
Maybe I should forget him
For once
It can't be that hard
Yes, I must
And I will
Watch the prince go

Call it a paradox
Call me a paradox
I am what you want
I could have been...
If only things were different
If only he was different
So I'll forget him
I'll just forget him

Only postcard kisses from now on

2006-07-17T18:17:00.000+01:00

The Imperial

2006-07-09T11:22:00.000+01:00

My empire of dust shadow and dirt
My country of pride sadness and lie
Still it’s mine, mine to decide
My land of insecurity anger and pity
My sea of dreams silence and moonbeams
Still I own it, mine to be mine

Didn’t you know I could handle it?
The curling flag is in my hand

There are forks on the ground
There are thorns on the walls
Let them scratch me, let me learn
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
What makes you stronger makes you conquer
By conquering you rule and by ruling you control

Aware, aware of possibilities
Universes, loves and powers
Beware, beware of enemies
Brats, cynics and cowards

I will mess you up
I will bring you down
I will hurt you well
I will wear the crown
I won’t die now
I won’t shed a tear
I won’t pay the price
I won’t have fear

Disappointed by not being disappointed?
The curling flag is in my hand

I’ve conquered myself
I have my empire
Now, you defend yours
You burn in your fire

I realized I didn't have windows

2006-07-05T00:39:00.000+01:00

Till now

2006-07-05T00:24:00.000+01:00

Now who am I this time, you ask
Right now
I am this person
Answering to your question

I am what you're looking at
And it's sad
I'm also the thing I think when I think of you
And all that I've been through

Till now, when your eyes meet mine

I'm sorry to tell but even that is part of me
If it weren't my eyes, tell me how could I see?
I'm sorry to tell but even that is part of me
If it weren't my eyes tell me how could I see?

So I am now what looks at you
I am the witness of your existence
I am the soft wind on your face
What its oblivion can't remember of you

A piece of history, so dearest to me

Till now, when my eyes meet yours

Now it's your turn to answer this
Who are you boy?